Chapter 36
The World and The Star
Today, the king of the sky did not attend the horizon. Dark clouds gathered, unlocked the vault of the heavens, and unleashed heavy rain for the entire morning. Yan Xun, not feeling tired, continued his journey with his sleeping beauty companion and two horses trailing behind him.
Yan Xun set up camp and built a small bonfire to warm his cold beauty in a cave while waiting for the rain to stop, but it didn't.
Yan Xun, gazing at his beauty, saw that her face was still covered by an indigo scarf. He did not attempt to touch it or see who lay beneath those gentle, beautiful, sleeping eyes.
He had promised himself to wait for the moment when she would open her eyes and find everything, including herself, in order.
Yan Xun, though excited and on top of the clouds that sent the rain, maintained his self-control, one of his most valued assets. He was, after all, a gentleman.
Except for when it came to Chu Qiao. He often experienced erratic behavior when he wanted to see her. He would have to steal some time and employ stratagems around Merlin with Feng Mian to reach the Yuwen Household.
He would then pass the usual interrogation at the Red Hills courtyard before arriving at his ultimate destination, the Green Hills courtyard.
The dangers and killing machines scattered around the Yuwen grounds didn't bother him.
When he was young and carefree, Yan Xun never thought twice about visiting her. And now, it seemed he was reverting to his old self, sunny and just happy.
Yan Xun tried to meditate inside the cave while waiting for the beauty to wake up, but she didn't. He thought to himself, "Did those three balls affect her too much? She hasn't woken up since this morning. I'm beginning to worry if she'll wake up at all. This is not what I expected."
He straightened his posture, assumed a Zen position, and tried to meditate again to ease his tired mind. He hadn't slept and wouldn't allow himself to.
He feared losing this hauntingly beautiful woman sleeping beside him.
After a while, Yan Xun could no longer fight his drowsiness. His heavy eyes finally closed, and he fell asleep beside her.
Heavy raindrops fell outside, while the world and the stars slept sweetly in the rocky beds of the mountain cave. A few hours later, Yan Xun awoke, thinking it was the best sleep he'd had since the frozen lake tragedy. He leaned to the side and felt lucky to see the woman beside him still sleeping peacefully. A twinge of anxiety hit him. He checked her palms and tried to count her pulse when, suddenly, the woman woke up. Her delicate hands quickly reversed the position of Yan Xun's hands, and in the other hand, she held a cold dagger pressed to his neck. He hadn't even noticed where she had hidden it on her fragile body.
Yan Xun was stunned but smiled and said, "I am your prisoner, and you are my warden."
Chu Qiao heard his words but didn't respond. Instead, she demanded, "Where am I, and why are we here?"
Yan Xun, with assertiveness, replied, "The first question: where. The second: why. Got it."
In a hoarse voice, he continued, "Third: How can I speak when you won't put down your weapon first?"
Chu Qiao pressed the cold dagger harder against his neck. The blade made a small cut, and dark red blood started to appear.
"Answer! Or I'll kill you here and now. I won't regret it." Chu Qiao's voice was sharp and as cold as her dagger.
Yan Xun, still calm, replied, "You've only managed to put a knife to my neck because I let you. But what if I—"
Before he could finish, Yan Xun quickly reversed Chu Qiao's hand. A master of close combat, he swiftly disarmed her, tossing the dagger aside. He pressed his left hand to his neck to slow the bleeding, while Chu Qiao looked on in horror, her eyes fixed on his hand, half metal, half flesh, with jade-like skin.
Yan Xun, calm and self-assured, didn't ask for help. He went to one of their saddlebags, retrieved a Celadon bottle, and applied pressure to the wound, which bled more freely. He wiped it with a white cloth before opening the bottle and applying a balm around the cut. Chu Qiao watched in silence.
Yan Xun didn't even glance at her as he treated his shallow wound. When he finished, he looked at her and said, "Hey, don't cry. I won't die yet. We still have many moments to share."
He smiled like a child, and Chu Qiao felt awkward yet oddly familiar with his behavior.
Hearing Yan Xun's words, Chu Qiao shook her head and looked down. She was struggling with her thoughts. She felt she had seen those fingers before, the last one gave her an unpleasant feeling.
She knew her memories were unreliable. Perhaps this was connected to her past.
Yan Xun sensed the long silence and reassured her: "Look at this bottle. It's the only one of its kind, the best herbal medicine for wounds, from the Far East."
Yan Xun smiled at her and said, "Hey! I'll be alright. Tomorrow, you can cut me again, and this bottle will do all the wonders."
He spoke in this manner to ease her guilt, noticing how Chu Qiao's eyes seemed on the verge of flooding with tears.
Chu Qiao wasn't focused on the wound but on his last finger, which seemed strangely familiar. Yan Xun smiled at her, while her mind flashed through memories like a time-lapse, unable to pinpoint when or where they had met before.
Interrupting her thoughts, Yan Xun stared at her and said, "You can stare at me like that when I'm asleep. I'm even more handsome then. But when I'm awake, don't you realize you're with a gorgeous man?"
Chu Qiao remained silent, offering no reaction.
Yan Xun, trying to be spontaneous, added, "A penny for your thoughts?"
Still, she didn't respond. Yan Xun didn't understand what was going through her mind. Chu Qiao struggled to find words for this conversation, her lips sealed as she simply observed the man she vaguely remembered. She was certain he was the one who had carried her away from the smoke last night.
Yan Xun then asked, "I'm hungry. What about you? Aren't you hungry?"
Chu Qiao didn't answer, so he teased her: "Are you deaf? Mute? Or is it the effect of the smoke?"
She kept staring at him with that same trace of familiarity, unable to recall when she had met this man. Was it in her past? Or perhaps in her dreams? Trying to connect the dots felt impossible.
Yan Xun, turning into a chatty merchant trying to sell his charms, attempted to break the ice: "Okay, I know this is all new to you, and if you're feeling awkward or stunned being in the company of the Prince of Yanbei, don't worry. You don't need to be afraid."
He continued, "We're on a journey, and no one from the Yan Palace followed us, unless that whipping girl followed you again. By the way, who is this whip girl who always follows you around?"
Yan Xun stole a glance at Chu Qiao, the kind of glance that would make most women swoon.
But Chu Qiao wasn't affected, and Yan Xun began to doubt his charm, wondering if his good looks had no effect on this particular lady. Was she an alien? Not human? He chuckled at the thought and refocused on the beauty in front of him.
Chu Qiao, enduring these playful antics, finally spoke: "How can I answer your questions when you haven't answered mine?"
Yan Xun, overjoyed to hear her voice again, squinted and parted his lips as if to kiss her but he didn't. Instead, he said, "That's the point. I won't answer your questions, but you'll get your answers after this short time we've stolen to get to know each other better. As you may know, the Prince of Yanbei is betrothed to the Liang Princess and…"
His chatty moment was cut short, and suddenly, Yan Xun didn't know what to say next.
He was rendered speechless when Chu Qiao began to remove her indigo scarf.
Long silence followed, and Yan Xun, pale as a rock, froze in place.
… …
Time seemed to stop as the Star shone in the dark skies.
The world shifted, lost in the expanse of nowhere, as if frozen in time. He was convinced he was seeing a ghost.
His sturdy knees buckled, and he felt powerless. His mind froze, his voice failed him, and his body was paralyzed.
Mesmerized by the pure beauty before him, Yan Xun's knees hit the rocky ground as he pushed himself backward, out of shock.
This moment of beautiful agony it was like a dream. Or was it real?
No answers came. Everything remained frozen in time.
Yan Xun's eyes burned with fury. He grabbed the cold dagger he had thrown earlier and, in a moment of surrender, shouted to Chu Qiao, "You can kill me here! That's an order!"
The heavy rain continued to pour from the vault of the heavens. Between the world and the star, there was only silence, and neither wanted to make the first move.
… …
Suddenly, Chu Qiao, confused by the situation, passed out. Yan Xun quickly caught her as she collapsed like a thin sheet of paper. She no longer had the strength to comprehend where she was or what was happening. Who was this Prince of Yanbei who had taken her from Xiuli camp?
She had just been beginning a life she hoped would lead to success. But now? She found herself spending time with someone she wasn't sure she should or shouldn't be with.
Yan Xun didn't want to complicate things. He was just starting to move forward with his life, leaving behind the chapter of the frozen lake. This moment felt both fateful and ill-fated. It was the price he paid for seeking peace after all these years spent in anguish by the frozen lake, years in which he cried and waited for closure.
Yan Xun had once said to Mr. Wu, "If I'm not meant to know what happened in the past, and I can't go back to change it, whatever it was, if I see her again, I won't let her go like what happened at the icy lake. I will change the course of the present time."
That moment had arrived. But experiencing it was different from what he imagined. It seemed Yan Xun had waited his whole life for this moment, to truly see A'Chu with his own eyes and touch her.
He had to convince himself she was alive. If A'Chu were to kill him now, it would be the only way to prove she wasn't a figment of his imagination.
There had never been closure from the frozen lake. This was a continuation of that moment, when A'Chu and Yuwen Yue had left him behind. He had been angry with Chu Qiao for drawing such a clear line about who she chose. From his memory, she chose to die with Yuwen Yue in the lake.
Yan Xun had felt like a dead man walking, living like a ghost in the years that followed. The truth was, Yan Xun had died more times than he had lived.
But now, those moments seemed to fade with time. Yan Xun had to face the woman in front of him, who appeared to lose strength every time she looked at him.
He gazed at her angelic face and hugged her tightly, whispering, "I won't let go of you. Not even a single strand of your hair will fall to the ground. This is my promise."
Tears welled in Yan Xun's eyes as he spoke in a soft, gentle tone, full of both joy and misery, emotions only he could fully understand.
The sound of tiny water droplets echoed through the cave as the heavy rain finally stopped. The sky cleared, and the moonlight shone brightly, like a painted canvas, while the frozen scene before them seemed to take them back in time.
Yan Xun busied himself by cooking some food for A'Chu while she slept. He smiled as he watched her peaceful face. He didn't eat anything himself, choosing instead to sit by the bonfire, contemplating his next steps.
He was overjoyed but didn't quite know how to feel. Should he focus on himself first, or should he believe in the woman in front of him? For now, he thought of He Xiao and the truth that had been revealed... He Xiao had been loyal to him all along. This woman was not He Xiao's, and never would be. Perhaps that's what He Xiao's letter had been about to inform Yan Xun that he had found A'Chu and that she was alive.
Yan Xun had been right all these years. Since no body was ever found, he had held on to the hope that one day, he would find A'Chu.
Suddenly, Chu Qiao slowly opened her eyes and felt the warmth inside the cave. Yan Xun approached her and looked directly into her eyes. She didn't hesitate to meet his gaze.
Yan Xun spoke first. "Are you feeling better? I've also lit some tea candles to help ease your senses."
Chu Qiao leaned forward slightly, looking around. The tea candles, along with the bonfire, filled the cave with warmth.
In what was perhaps the most romantic spot she had ever seen, surrounded by the gentle glow of candlelight and the sweet aroma in the air, she quietly uttered, "This smells nice."
Yan Xun, still gazing at her, said, "We're in a cave. It's been raining all morning and afternoon, and now it's night. We should stay here until dawn. I've prepared a meal for both of us."
Chu Qiao remained silent, simply observing him.
Yan Xun broke the silence with his husky voice. "A'Chu, do you know how happy I am today?"
With growing excitement, he added, "Do you know how long I've counted the moments, waiting for you to wake up?"
Yan Xun wanted to keep talking, but he sensed that she wasn't responding. A'Chu seemed disconnected, as if something was wrong with her.
He asked again, "A'Chu, do you know who you're with right now?"
Chu Qiao listened quietly but didn't respond.
Yan Xun rephrased the question, "Do you have any idea who this man is in front of you?"
He was testing her memory, hoping she could recall who he was. Her strange look worried him.
Finally, Chu Qiao spoke, addressing his earlier comment: "Earlier, you didn't recognize me. But when you said you were about to marry the Liang Princess, and I removed my scarf, you stopped talking."
She added, in a polite yet assertive tone, "You asked me to kill you."
Yan Xun was surprised by her sharp memory. She had remembered every second of what had happened earlier. He admitted, "A'Chu, at first, I didn't realize it was you. But something deep down told me it might be you."
He stood up, took a few steps closer to her, and continued, "I don't want people to see me as a crazy dragon, exposing my weakness."
Sighing, Yan Xun added, "You have to understand, I am the last royal heir of Yanbei. I never wanted that title to come between us, but after the frozen lake tragedy, it became a symbol of power for the people of Yanbei and a rallying force for the Yan army."
Chu Qiao responded, "You call me A'Chu?"
Yan Xun, feeling a glimmer of hope at her response, smiled softly. "Yes, I call you A'Chu."
"You revealed that name to me. It was the happiest moment of my life, even in the midst of all the tragedy."
Yan Xun paused, then asked, "Do you remember the hole in the wall? You gave me your name, and no one else knew it but me."
Chu Qiao, still unable to fully remember, shifted the topic and asked, "Are you getting married in a few days?"
Yan Xun turned around, moved closer, and sat down in front of her. Looking into her eyes, he replied with irritation in his voice, "Did you listen carefully? I'm not marrying in a few days, but in a few months."
He watched her closely, searching her eyes for any sign of emotion in response to his words.
But all he found were the same pure eyes he had once protected and loved in their younger years.
Silence hung between them, the warm air filling the space as the fire crackled. Yan Xun broke the quiet again.
With all his heart, he asked, "If I were to marry someone else, would you be happy?"
The question lingered in the air, heavy with meaning. Yan Xun's handsome face was hard to resist as he awaited her answer. But Chu Qiao broke eye contact, unable to respond.
She couldn't give him an answer, though she sensed that her words would shape both their futures.
Yan Xun understood her silence. He lowered his gaze as well.
Neither of them knew what to say next. They simply sat there in silence, listening to the sound of the fire as it burned, while their unspoken feelings hung in the air, unresolved.
Chu Qiao diverted her attention to the meal that the Prince had prepared for their dinner. She said, "What a delicious meal, I'm hungry." Chu Qiao ate heartily, and Yan Xun followed suit, though he remained quiet, not saying a word.
Chu Qiao could sense the silence hanging in the air, wondering if it was because she hadn't answered his million-dollar question. She thought it best for him to consider whether it was even appropriate to ask her such a question, especially since, to her, they had only just met. But to Yan Xun, it felt as if they had escaped the world together, as if they had once been lovers, now oppressed by outside forces, and were on the brink of deciding their future tonight.
Chu Qiao chose to bury those thoughts in silence, hoping Yan Xun would never bring them up again. She thought to herself, "If he marries, then he marries." It wasn't for her to get in his way. A prince is a prince, and his future wasn't dependent on her answers.
After their meal, Chu Qiao cleaned up and moved a little farther away from Yan Xun to sleep. Yan Xun didn't object. He too was keeping himself in control, determined not to ruin his plans for their journey.
That fateful night, they slept together under the same sky, but their status remained unclear, were they strangers, enemies, friends, or something more? Neither could tell.
Yan Xun closed his eyes first, while Chu Qiao stayed awake for a while, letting him fall asleep before drifting off herself.
The next morning, Yan Xun woke up first, already dressed in his white Hanfu with a purple robe adorned with intricate embroidery along the hem. He looked undeniably handsome and hard to resist. Yan Xun had prepared everything Chu Qiao would need to dress, including a matching pair of metal masquerade masks for both of them.
Last night, Yan Xun's heart had guided him, but this morning, his mind was back in control. He had decided to continue with his plans, regardless of last night's revelations.
When Chu Qiao woke up, she first looked around the cave, searching for Yan Xun. Beside her were delicate Calla Lilies, symbolizing humility, devotion, youth, and rebirth, along with lilies of the valley, which are given on a second wedding anniversary. Lilies, often associated with funerals, also symbolized the soul's restored innocence after death.
For Yan Xun, these flowers represented what should have been their second wedding anniversary, had Chu Qiao survived the frozen lake tragedy. But fate had taken a different path, and she had chosen a path of thorns.
Beside the flowers, Yan Xun had laid out a princess's gown, complete with a gold box on top as a finishing touch. Chu Qiao had no choice but to accept the gift, silently following the Prince of Yanbei's actions, reading between the lines of what was left unsaid.
Yan Xun was outside, gazing at the mountains, waiting. He sensed her presence as she approached, and when he turned, he was stunned by the sight before him.
A'Chu was dressed in the princess gown and a purple robe, matching his own. The only thing that remained was her indigo scarf, which she kept over her face, but even that somehow matched their coordinated attire, making them appear as a couple from their clothing alone.
Yan Xun, with his hands clasped behind his back, silently walked toward her, his divine princess, whose gown fluttered in the breeze, a breathtaking sight.
He stopped in front of her, the moment almost too beautiful to bear. Her face was hidden except for her eyes, but even that was enough to stir Yan Xun's heart. He slowly removed her indigo scarf and placed it gently in her hand. Their eyes locked, speaking volumes without a word exchanged.
Then, Yan Xun produced a metal masquerade mask and gently placed it over her delicate face. As he fastened the mask, the Prince of Yanbei could feel the electricity between them. Her scent enveloped him, but he forced himself to clear his thoughts, controlling his desires as he tightened the lock on the mask. Chu Qiao, feeling both familiarity and tension, calmed herself, allowing Yan Xun to finish adjusting the mask at the back of her head.
When he was done, Yan Xun stepped back to look at her and met her gaze.
His eyes squinted slightly, and in their sparkle, he conveyed everything he felt at that moment.
Deep down, he knew Chu Qiao didn't want him to marry soon, even if she wasn't saying it out loud.
Yan Xun had grown in ways he hadn't expected. This was not like the first time he was forced to marry Princess Chuner, when A'Chu, the little fox, had said nothing but had simply advised him to be careful in his next steps. Back then, Yan Xun hadn't fully understood her words... until now.
Yan Xun knew what Chu Qiao felt for him, even though neither of them had ever spoken it out loud.
He had always believed their feelings were mutual. Yet Yan Xun had never learned how to express those feelings in a way Chu Qiao could understand.
At the time, his heart had been consumed by revenge and anger, leaving no room to explore his true desires, not until now.
Today, as Yan Xun looked at her, she was like a wild red flower. If only the world of Yanbei were simpler, he could declare her his life partner without hesitation.
But would it have been better if he had thought about this earlier? Back at the frozen lake, if he had thought about her more and less about himself? Had he not been so stubborn and selfish?
Perhaps he wouldn't have lost his best friend Yuwen Yue.
Instead of dragging Yuwen Yue into a death squad, he might have invited him to Yanbei's wedding of the year.
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