Chapter 71
I can't be your fairytale
After three months of struggle, Yuwen Yue recovered from his physical wounds, but not from the pain in his heart. As cold as he seemed, the anguish he felt was far worse than the initial injury.
Beside the clear streams of water, Yuwen Yue meditated, and once again, memories of the bloody war flashed through his mind.
Yuwen Yue thought:
"I have not broken a single promise.
I knew it was you who let us and Mo'er go.
On that fateful day, I swore that if we met again, I would let you go as well.
I kept my noble promise, yet you tried to take my life twice.
The first time, you knew it was me. The second time, you still knew, but pretended you didn't.
Yan Xun, the scars in your heart have turned to callous revenge, wrapped in eternal hate, beyond repair.
I hope you find forgiveness in your heart, so Xia Chong's life will not have been in vain.
Because if it's Chu Qiao's life, you never stood a chance."
"Master! Xinger! Xinger! Xinger!"
After a moment, a noisy bird came and broke his thoughts. Yuwen Yue creased his brow and stared at the bird. It stopped chirping, landed on his shoulder, and fell silent.
Another cavalryman approached and said, "Master, your horse is ready. Shall we go?"
Inside Xiu Xiu Mountain Palace, the strong smell of wine filled the grand halls. Yan Xun lay sprawled on his thick fur and chaotic throne, sadness and regret darkening his eyes.
He had become slack, alcoholic, and negligent in his duties since Chu Qiao's passing. The King of Yan grieved for many days and nights before shutting himself away from the world.
"My Lord, please eat something. You need to recover your strength," said A'Jing.
Zhong Yu, who watched over him, pitied his gaunt form and bloodshot eyes. She gently added, "You need an antidote for your heart. I can give it to you."
But Yan Xun, paying no attention to his closest aides, shouted, "Go away! Another round of wine, you fools!" He barked at the servants who couldn't stop the King's drinking. His clothes were dirty, his hair unkempt, his aura foul with the stench of alcohol, and his belly full of spirits.
Zhong Yu turned away, tears in her eyes. She could no longer bear to see the King's sorry state. She left, her unspoken words like a dagger in her heart. She couldn't destroy Wu Dao Ya's plan.
A'Jing rose from his kneeling position and continued to manage Yanbei's affairs. The King, lost in madness and scarred both inside and out, had yet to reach his breaking point.
Yuwen Yue, accompanied by Yue Qi and Zuo Zong, mounted his horse and headed toward the Liang borders to visit his Uncle Xie. When they arrived, Master Xie Tai Shan informed Yuwen Yue of Chu Qiao's condition, saying, "She cannot remember any of us, not me, not Empress Lu Zhi, nor Emperor Xiao Ce.
Xiao Ce has spent many days and nights with her, trying to reintroduce her to her own Yehua Palace, telling her she is a fallen star princess and the future shining phoenix of the Liang Empire."
But despite his efforts, Xiao Ce, burdened with a heavy heart, knew deep down that every time Chu Qiao looked at him, there was a void in her soul that he could never fill.
Yuwen Yue, feeling a sharp pain in his heart, asked, "Uncle Xie, do you know any remedy for her condition? She is my wife. She should remember her husband, not that playboy prince!"
Master Xie Tai Shan responded, "Unfortunately, her memory loss is incurable."
"Who says it's incurable when even the dead can be raised?" Yue Qi interjected.
Yuwen Yue, thinking for a moment, asked, "Are you talking about that eccentric priest living in the Thousand Caves?"
Zuo Zong, chuckling with excitement, said, "We must buy a mooncake!"
Yue Qi replied, "A mooncake for whom, the hamster pets?"
Yuwen Yue, rejecting any temporary or unnatural healing methods, said, "I want a permanent cure for her memory. Who can help me find the way?" No one responded, leaving Yuwen Yue deep in thought.
As the gloomy sunrise quietly painted the sky, winter began to sprinkle snowflakes across the open field of Daoming Palace.
Slowly and with grace, Chu Qiao, dressed in a fine orange silk kimono with long sleeves, found an unusually large bouquet of fresh flowers scattered throughout her palace.
There was no mistaking it, she already knew who had stolen her heart. Smiling, she bent down to smell one of the lovely flowers.
From a distance, she saw a masked man on horseback.
Suddenly, she felt dizzy and leaned slightly against a palace post. A glimpse of memories flashed before her eyes.
Moments later, when she turned back in the same direction, the man had vanished. She walked slowly down the palace corridor, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious figure again.
She found him standing with Emperor Xiao Ce, nodding to him. Chu Qiao thought she had seen this man before, but it was her first time noticing him in the palace. Xiao Ce's face shifted from cheerful to serious.
Chu Qiao thought to herself, "Maybe this man is an enemy, a faceless general, or the head of spies who doesn't want to expose his identity."
Mei Xiang and Ping'An, following close behind her, noticed Chu Qiao's curious gaze. Mei Xiang said, "Master, I heard that man over there is from the eastern territories. He requested an audience with the Emperor yesterday, but the Emperor told him to wait until today. So, the masked man has returned."
"It's quite unusual for a man to wear a mask unless he's hiding scars or…is his face ugly?" Chu Qiao joked.
Mei Xiang added, "Master, I also overheard the palace maids saying that he took off his mask in front of the Emperor. They said he's incredibly handsome, not ugly at all. The Emperor was angry at first, but after seeing his face, he said, 'Who else but you?'"
Chu Qiao, intrigued, asked, "So, they were friends or longtime companions?"
Ping'An interjected, "I can assure you they're not."
Chu Qiao, puzzled, asked, "How can you be sure?"
Ping'An replied, "I heard the palace maids say this man has never been to the Liang Palace before, but some maids gossiped that he looks like the former Master of the Eyes of God from the Wei Empire."
Chu Qiao, listening closely, asked, "Master of the Eyes of God?"
Ping'An nodded, "Yes, the palace maids who accompanied the Emperor to Wei said this man resembles the Master of the Eyes of God, though it's impossible, he's supposed to be dead."
Chu Qiao shifted her stance, her curiosity piqued, as the masked man slightly turned his head toward her. Yuwen Yue stole a glance at her from afar.
Chu Qiao, now more intrigued, asked, "What do they call him in his household?"
Ping'An answered, "They say he's the fourth young master of the Yuwen household."
As she slowly began piecing together the identity of the man, Chu Qiao asked, "What was the former Master of the Eyes of God's name?"
Ping'An replied, "I heard his name was Yuwen Yue."
The name struck a chord with Chu Qiao, but she couldn't recall where she had heard it before. She reacted, "Why is this man interested in me?"
Ping'An, not wanting to overwhelm her with too much information, suggested, "Master, perhaps you should get to know him first."
Chu Qiao gave Ping'An an incredulous look and said, "I don't even know why I'm here, and now you want me to add him to my 'get-to-know' list?"
Ping'An smiled innocently and replied, "He seems harmless."
Chu Qiao, annoyed, raised her hand as if to flick his forehead and said, "Do you expect me to befriend every harmless person I meet?"
After a brief pause, she added in a bored voice, "He seems harmless, so why bother?"
Suddenly, Xiao Ce's coughing announced his presence. Ping'An immediately bowed to the Emperor and moved behind Chu Qiao.
Chu Qiao, noticing him, asked, "Your Highness, did you just arrive, or were you eavesdropping on our private conversation?"
Xiao Ce, known for his honesty with Chu Qiao, responded with a soft, playful tone, "You're blushing…"
Then, with his usual flirty look, he leaned closer and whispered in her ear, "I can even hear your heart racing."
Returning to his normal posture, Xiao Ce, with a childlike expression, teased, "Too bad the gossip wasn't about me."
Chu Qiao, unimpressed by his joke, retorted, "How could they gossip about you? The moment they do, they risk their necks in the garrison yard and the scrutiny of your ministers."
Xiao Ce, with his foxy eyes, continued, "Once, I had the Seventh Yue, then the fallen snowflake, and now, at last, the fallen star. She's about to be taken by her moon."
Chu Qiao playfully hit Xiao Ce's shoulder and said, "What are you talking about? Is this what you learned at Li Garden's poetry readings?"
Xiao Ce grinned and replied, "I learn quickly, Qiao Qiao."
Then, with a serious expression, he said, "If you're uncomfortable with him, I can kill the man or exile him to Huai Song."
Chu Qiao chuckled, "Why kill a harmless man? And why exile him if he's innocent?"
Xiao Ce winked and replied, "That would make me a bad ruler, wouldn't it? I'm not an arrogant emperor. Can you spare some time today? He wants to meet you again."
As Xiao Ce gave in to Chu Qiao's decision to reunite with Yuwen Yue, he felt a deep sense of fear and jealousy sinking in. He thought to himself, "How many more chances do I have left with her?"
Chu Qiao, thinking for a moment, said, "If he's harmless, then why not give him a chance?"
Xiao Ce, looking at her, sighed, "How could I say no to you?"
Softly, he whispered to himself, "Once again, I'm just a tool. I'm worse than a slave."
Chu Qiao overheard him and asked, "Who's a slave?"
Xiao Ce, startled, replied, "Did I say that?"
"I heard something about a slave," Chu Qiao said, raising her voice but with a playful expression.
Xiao Ce, diffusing the tension, said, "Nothing, I was just thinking that I'm a 'Slave Emperor.'"
Chu Qiao chuckled, offering advice, "Well, you are a slave to your empire. You can't escape it. You must rule, or the people will suffer."
Xiao Ce responded, "Don't worry, Qiao Qiao. As long as you stay by my side, I know we can rule together in peace, and the chaos will melt away."
Just then, Yuwen Yue arrived. Xiao Ce stepped aside, watching as Chu Qiao and Yuwen Yue locked eyes. He whispered to Ping'An, "You know what to do."
But Chu Qiao and Yuwen Yue, lost in each other's presence, didn't hear him.
Chu Qiao, in a formal tone, said, "You can remove your mask, or there will be no tea ceremony."
Yuwen Yue's cold, godlike presence sent a chill down her spine. His aristocratic stature, the scent of plum blossoms, and his Adonis-like features were undeniable as he slowly removed his metal mask.
His face revealed youthful, clear skin, and eyes as calm as still waters.
Chu Qiao, momentarily distracted, finally saw the godly face in front of her. Unsure if she was still in the real world, she coughed and said, "Ahem… Let me remind you, I only agreed to meet you because you seem harmless. If you're not, the Emperor will either kill you or exile you."
Yuwen Yue casually, replied, "I heard your private conversation earlier."
Chu Qiao, caught off guard, asked, "Did you hear—"
Yuwen Yue cut her off, stating his reason for visiting: "I'm here to visit the fallen star, or rather, the girl once known as Xinger."
"Xinger? Me?" Chu Qiao asked, raising her voice.
Yuwen Yue nodded, "I suppose you're searching for my real name and who Xinger was."
As the two walked toward the gazebo where the tea ceremony was prepared, Yuwen Yue glanced at the blooming lotus flower in the pond.
Chu Qiao noticed it too and asked, "Did you see that?"
Yuwen Yue, with his cold expression, replied, "I did. It lasted only a moment."
And they continued walking.
Chu Qiao, listening to every word this man said, felt her heart race. She carefully sat on the pillow in front of the tea table while Yuwen Yue remained standing, waiting for her response. The servants were nearby, though far enough to give them privacy.
Chu Qiao broke the silence, asking, "Are you going to stand there forever?"
Yuwen Yue, captivated by Xinger's beauty and presence, squinted his eyes and replied simply, "No."
In a short, cold voice, Yuwen Yue sat on the pillow, his posture upright.
Chu Qiao began pouring the tea, and as she did, Yuwen Yue's mind drifted back to memories of their time in the Green Hills courtyard. He became lost in thought.
Noticing that Yuwen Yue seemed fixated on her hand and the teacups, Chu Qiao, slightly annoyed, asked, "Are we just going to stare at these teacups?"
Yuwen Yue snapped out of his reverie, picked up his teacup, and waited for Chu Qiao to do the same. Once she lifted her cup, they both drank in silence. Yuwen Yue placed his cup back on the table and glanced at Chu Qiao, who, after drinking, returned his gaze.
For a moment, an inexplicable silence fell between them, an unspoken peace that was fleeting yet profound whenever their eyes met. Time seemed to stand still, as though they had left the earth and entered another realm, created solely for these two lost souls.
Chu Qiao broke the stillness, taking a deep breath. "I can tell," she said, "the man sitting in front of me seems more lost than the woman in front of him."
She was right. Yuwen Yue had come seeking Xinger, but it seemed that he, too, was lost in her presence. He couldn't even find the words to remind her who she was.
Chu Qiao pressed further, asking, "You came because of Xinger?"
Yuwen Yue, his throat dry, forced himself to respond. In a soft, cold voice, he said, "Yes, I came to find Xinger."
"Who is Xinger?" Chu Qiao asked.
"She's sitting in front of me," Yuwen Yue replied, not taking his eyes off her. His words were filled with both truth and love.
Chu Qiao lowered her gaze, seeming to understand what Yuwen Yue was saying, but she quickly denied it. "I'm sorry, I'm not Xinger."
Yuwen Yue, noticing the ring on Chu Qiao's finger, softly said, "Look at the ring on your finger. It's Xinger's engagement ring."
Startled, Chu Qiao looked at him and asked, "Are you saying I'm engaged to someone just because of this ring?"
Yuwen Yue, his voice sincere, answered, "Yes."
Chu Qiao paused, then slowly removed the ring. She placed it in the center of the tea table and said, "I'm not Xinger. Here, take the ring."
Yuwen Yue felt a sharp pang in his chest, both from his physical wounds and from the emotional rejection. In a voice laced with pain, he said, "No, keep it. It's alright if you don't recognize it yet."
Chu Qiao remained silent, sensing Yuwen Yue's pain. She asked softly, "Are you alright?"
"Yes," Yuwen Yue replied. "It's just the wound on my back. I'm still recovering."
Chu Qiao's face shifted from stern to concerned. "You're hurt? Did someone—"
"I'm not hurt," Yuwen Yue interrupted. "I just fulfilled a promise, and this is the price I paid."
Chu Qiao fell silent, feeling his pain yet unable to remember anything. She wondered if she had done something to hurt this man.
Yuwen Yue, noticing her contemplation, reassured her, "Don't worry. This isn't something you need to feel burdened by. What happened was meant to happen."
Chu Qiao looked down but couldn't hide her concern. She tried to comfort him, saying, "Whoever did this to you, I condemn it. You seem like a good man."
Yuwen Yue smiled faintly and responded, "The person who did this to me was also a good man once, but the tragedies his family endured turned him into a villain."
Chu Qiao, suddenly serious, asked, "Maybe you slaughtered his family, and this is his revenge?"
Yuwen Yue, his voice sincere, said, "I didn't kill his family. I tried to help, but I watched as his family was slaughtered and thrown into the bonfire of envy."
In a sorrowful tone, Chu Qiao said, "If I had been there, I would have killed you."
It was as if, in that moment, she had known Yuwen Yue for a long time and remembered some deep connection between them.
Yuwen Yue looked directly into her eyes and said, "You were there, but you didn't kill me."
Chu Qiao stared at him, searching for a hint of a joke, but found none. It felt as though this man was giving her a glimpse of her past life. "So I was there… if I didn't kill you, then what did I do to you?"
Yuwen Yue, his voice steady but filled with emotion, asked, "Does it matter for you to know what you did for me?"
"Maybe?" Chu Qiao responded, still curious. She poured more tea for both of them and sipped hers, waiting for him to answer.
Yuwen Yue hesitated, the memories too painful to speak of. But since Chu Qiao wanted to know, he finally said, "A long time ago, there was a Yuwen maid named Xinger. She was the bravest girl who fought for the fourth young master of the Yuwen household but then died at a frozen lake."
Chu Qiao placed her cup down and said, "Qinghai Prince, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Yuwen Yue knew that Chu Qiao wanted to end the conversation there. He said, "Though you're confused for now, it's only temporary. When you're ready to find yourself, I'll leave you with this."
"A map?" Chu Qiao asked, raising an eyebrow.
"This map leads to where your heart seeks. I've visited you many times, yet it seems my presence is no longer needed here. I can't stay much longer, but when you're ready, this map will guide you."
Chu Qiao looked into Yuwen Yue's eyes, filled with regret and sadness. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I can't be your fairytale."
Yuwen Yue's cold eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "Not today, but I still hope we can be together tomorrow."
Chu Qiao didn't respond, she didn't know what to say. Yuwen Yue stood up, gave her one last look, then turned and left the serene gazebo by the pond.
Yuwen Yue would later recall that moment: "I walked as if iron weights were tied to my boots. Each step felt like a hammer pounding my heart. I didn't want to leave. My heart wanted to explode into a million pieces. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, tell her I needed her and that I'd abandon my empire for her."
But Chu Qiao didn't want any of that. She couldn't remember their past, and she was already living a new life in Emperor Xiao Ce's arms. This was Yuwen Yue's last chance, and had he lost her forever?
After Yuwen Yue left, Chu Qiao felt lost and desolate. She unwrapped the map and found a small gift wrapped within it.
Yuwen Yue hadn't known that Zuo Zong had slipped in his treasured Kam handkerchief, embroidered with the Yuwen household's intricate gold-threaded inscription.
The handkerchief looked new, as though it had never been used. As Chu Qiao held it, memories began to stir in her mind, but the man who sparked them was already gone. Was it too late?
Chu Qiao wiped her teary eyes with the handkerchief and suddenly recalled the map of Chu Jing Kingdom, the Viper, and the peddler who used to visit her on Xue Fu Street, the first time she had met Yuwen Yue, the fourth young master of the Yuwen household.
But she kept these memories to herself, pretending not to remember.
In the Realm of Nowhere...
A snowflake fell on his delicate nose. The man slowly opened his eyes as frostbite began creeping through his skin. Yuwen Yue had slept for what felt like an eternity amidst the vast snowfall. He thought he had lost himself in a dream of endless nowhere. He wasn't alone, an old man in rugged clothes appeared before him, looking down. The old man asked, "Are you ready to live in another realm?"
Yuwen Yue, dumbfounded, said, "Who are you?"
"Is that important?" the old man replied.
Yuwen Yue suddenly sat up from where he had been lying. He glanced around for his horse, but it was nowhere in sight.
The old man continued, "Forget it. You can call me Sifu."
"Sifu? Is that your name?" Yuwen Yue asked.
"Of course not. Sifu means 'Master,'" the old man responded, taking a few steps and sitting on the snow-covered ground.
"Why should I call you that?" Yuwen Yue said, irritation creeping into his voice.
"Fine, don't call me Sifu. What would you prefer?" the old man said, testing Yuwen Yue's patience.
"Sifu is fine," Yuwen Yue replied, resigned.
"Good," said the old man, pointing to the far horizon.
Yuwen Yue frowned and asked, "Why should I go in that direction?"
The old man replied, "She told you, didn't she? You can't be her fairytale. So, you must follow that path."
Yuwen Yue paused, wondering how this rugged old man knew what Xinger had said.
The old man added, "Didn't you hear her? You can't be her fairytale because life isn't a fairytale. You need to be real."
Annoyed but somehow enlightened, Yuwen Yue said, "What's wrong with me? I am real."
The old man stood up and declared, "Go to that far distance, and I will teach you humility under the rod of discipline. You can't even shoot with your left arm anymore. You must lose your mortal abilities to gain immortal ones." Sifu frowned at him and then turned to walk toward the horizon.
Yuwen Yue, feeling pressure but not intimidation, called out, "What if I don't follow?" He stood alone in the vast snowfield.
The old man's voice carried back to him, "Your destiny is set. Time cannot be undone."
Suddenly, the rugged clothes of the old man transformed before Yuwen Yue's eyes. The old man revealed himself as none other than the master who had trained Yuwen Yue in the Woolong Mountains.
"How did this happen? This must be a dream," Yuwen Yue questioned.
Yet, despite his doubts, Yuwen Yue began walking, following the snow-covered footprints left by Sifu, now far ahead.
Across the endless white expanse, two small figures walked through the Valley of Hellfrost. Qi Hui, determined to guide Yuwen Yue, led him through this desolate winter wasteland. Their destination lay at the highest altitudes of the hinterlands. Time was meaningless here, it could have been hours or days, and neither would know.
Suddenly, Qi Hui stopped and waited for Yuwen Yue to catch up. Yuwen Yue, feeling strong at first, felt his energy waning as he approached. Collapsing into the snow, he said, "I can't do this…" and fell unconscious.
The wind howled fiercely, biting deep into his bones. Hellfrost was a place of death, where only those with the divine favor of the gods and blue blood in their veins could survive.
Qi Hui, ever wise, said, "This is what happens when mortal strength fails, and immortality begins."
Seeing the end of Hellfrost near, Qi Hui tied a rope around Yuwen Yue's body and began pulling him across the frozen ground. Yuwen Yue, blinking weakly, heard the old man's voice as he spoke, "This is the path of meekness, bearing another's burden for a common good. Without the good, there is no true humility. You are learning the limits of your mortal body. Flesh and blood are bound by the earth's gravity, the moon, the sun, the stars, and the sea of frost. Without a true companion, you would never make it through."
Yuwen Yue closed his eyes, humbled. His once-cold ego was shattered as he allowed himself to be saved by his master. He realized that to learn the virtue of humility, he must first submit to it.
Months, or perhaps years, passed. Having lost track of time, Qi Hui and Yuwen Yue finally reached the end of Hellfrost.
Standing on the edge of a frozen cliff, they looked down at the icy waterfalls below. Master Qi Hui spoke, "Here, I leave you with the power of humility in your left foot. Use it well, for it will shield you from arrogance, aggression, false pride, and vanity. It may seem empty, but it holds the power of freedom, the freedom of proving nothing."
"Humility listens more and speaks less," the Master added.
Yuwen Yue bowed respectfully and said, "More than just meditation, my body has undergone purification. I have freed myself from false coldness. Now, I can align my mortal strength and meridians, balancing the realities of mortality and immortality. With emptiness, I gain everything."
Master Qi Hui transferred the power into Yuwen Yue's left foot while Yuwen Yue stood in a Tai Chi position, his left foot lifted and angled over his right knee. Cold air swirled around him as the power flowed into his body. When the transformation was complete, Yuwen Yue found himself alone.
Hellfrost had vanished, replaced by a field of blooming dandelions in the Happy Valley. Yuwen Yue no longer worried about his next destination. He knew he was headed to meet another master.
A man sat in a tree, nibbling on a grass stalk, as Yuwen Yue stood in awe of the beautiful meadow. The wind blew gently, sending the dandelions flying like enchanted little kites across the valley.
"Welcome to Happy Valley," greeted the cheerful Maste
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